Thinking Of You
by musiclover82595
Summary: Tissue Warning! something bad has happened. Callie/Erica one-shot


You sit in the chair closes to the casket. Just four days ago you saw Erica again. Six months after she left, you see her again. She looks as beautiful as ever even though you can tell she is miserable and upset. She has lost weight and her eyes aren't as bright blue as they used to be. Just two days ago you saw her again. You were talking to her, explaining your love to her. But she wouldn't listen. After a while you gave up, you had been defeated once again. You ran across the street to your car, not seeing the other car speeding down the road. She saved you. Erica saved you. She pushed you across so that it wouldn't hit you, but it was too late for her. She put herself where you were standing and the next thing you heard was a thud. You got up and ran to her side. She was bleeding badly, and you can tell that her heart rate was slowing.

You screamed for help and after what seemed like forever someone comes out of their house. They called 911 then left you to be. You held her close in your lap cradling her and soothing her. You knew the ambulance wouldn't be there in time. You just cradled and comforted her in the middle of the road. She finally let go of that last breath and you whispered in her ear that you always and forever love her.

Just two days ago your life came to a stop.

_Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection  
Like an apple hanging from a tree  
I picked the ripest one  
I still got the seed_

You said move on  
Where do I go  
I guess second best  
Is all I will know

_  
_Your mind turns back to two nights ago; your last conversation with Erica.

"**What do you want?"**

"**I want to talk to you Erica."**

"**Well there is nothing to discuss."**

"**Yes there is. How come after six months you're back in Seattle?"**

"**Professional reasons."**

"**How long?"**

"**How long what?"**

"**Have you been here?!"**

"**Just over two months."**

"**And you didn't call or anything? Erica you are back, we can make **_**us **_**work again. I promise not to run this time." You look into her eyes for the first time that night and you see sadness.**

"**No we can't Cal." She shakes her head and looks at the ground than back at you. "I love you but you need to move on. I can put my heart at risk again."**

"**But you won't be. It will be different."**

"**Callie! You have a boyfriend I saw him all over you just two days ago! Please just be happy with him and move on." With that you turn and run, the tears build up in your eyes.**

You come back to reality when Rick, your boyfriend of 3 months, brings you into a tight embrace. He is really sweet, and you do love him. But he is no Erica, and you will never love him like you loved her. Your love for him is sweet, more brotherly or friendship like then romantic. Again its nothing like your love for Erica.

_  
Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes  
_

When you get back to your house he asks to spend the night. He does not want you to be alone right now and he is worried about you. He is sweet like that, but still he is no Erica. You get into bed and he wraps his arms around you. He does not have the same feel as Erica. His skin is rough and hard. But the only reason you fall asleep was trying to convince yourself that the arms around you are really Erica's and this was all a very bad dream.

_  
You're like an Indian summer  
In the middle of winter  
Like a hard candy  
With a surprise center  
How do I get better  
Once I've had the best  
You said there's  
Tons of fish in the water  
So the waters I will test  
_

Your mind flashes back to thoughts of Erica that night. How when you first met her she always had a hard outside. She was a bitch to everyone and everyone hated her. But she let you in and you really got to know her. She was sweet and kind and had a really big and caring heart.

You remember how when you were struggling with your divorce she told you not to let one screwed up man get to you and enjoy life. Move on to the next and how there are plenty of men out there.

But you don't want a man, you want Erica.

_  
He kissed my lips  
I taste your mouth  
He pulled me in  
I was disgusted with myself_

_  
_You wake up the next morning and head to the kitchen. Rick is already up and making you pancakes. You give him a sad smile and he pulls you into a kiss. He tries to deepen it but you won't let him. You hate yourself because all you can think about is how you wish those lips where Erica's. You can't stand kissing him knowing if Erica were here she would be dying inside. So you pull away and the tears star to overflow your eyes again.

He asks what's wrong and tries to come near you. You don't let him and you just run out the door and to your car. You don't care how you look, you're just in sweats and your hair is pulled back. You drive to the cemetery where Erica was buried yesterday. When you get there it's deserted and only one or two families are there. You find Erica's stone and you fall to the ground and cry.

_  
Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into..._

You're the best  
And yes I do regret  
How I could let myself  
Let you go  
Now the lesson's learned  
I touched it I was burned  
Oh I think you should know

When you think you are out of tears you take your hand and stroke the stone.

"Erica I'm so sorry for letting you walk away that night. I am so sorry for how I treated you. You were, are the best for me. And I don't think I can move on. I'm leaving Rick tonight because if I don't I will be only hurting myself and him. You took my heart with you the day you left and you still hold it. I will forever love you. Please wait for me, one day we will be together again and I know this time it will work. Love always finds a way, you taught me that. I love you Erica."

With a sad smile you walk away and start to cry again. But now you have forever to look forward for. You believe in a heaven, so one day you know you will be reunited with your love again. That brings a smile to your face, and you feel a warm glow and you know somewhere Erica is smiling too.

_Cause when I'm with him  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes  
Looking into your eyes  
Looking into your eyes  
Oh won't you walk through  
And bust in the door  
And take me away  
Oh no more mistakes  
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..._

_Erica Rose Hahn_

_A daughter, lover, and best friend_

_You will forever be missed._

_June 21__st__ 1970- May 2__nd__ 2009_


End file.
